The first step towards success, is moving your body (for the lack of a better word; “Bad MS Word, very, very bad!”) off your bed. Slightly disconcerting2, given the fact you went to sleep two hours ago. And then there’s the issue with sleep talking over the phone. The caller (Her Majesty) is not too intent on receiving my call, so I can only hope that I said things that were strictly, er, relevant. Torrential rains whip the campus as I slowly walk, carefully avoiding the puddles on the road. The academic building looks beautiful against the dark grey sky, almost minatory in its silence. It’s amazing, how an elementary and basic thing like the SI process can bring intricate and closet matters like reflecting on the architecture of the college building to the fore. As is with anything beautiful, it must have an end. So did my reflections, courtesy the rude and stressful preliminary round. Up until today, I maintain that I have no recollection of whatsoever happened in those twenty odd minutes. I did leave, feeling pretty confident about my performance.
The brightest thing about a good test is that, it raises your spirit3 to its much needed high and you begin to look at things from a positive perspective. You believe in your abilities, and you begin building elaborate castles in the sand. You plan for the future based on a certain set of outcomes, mostly positive, and you realise that there’s still some fire left in your belly. Now, you find your old sense of invincibility returning. You mentally play the Lord of the Rings soundtrack as you wait for the results.
Sadly, there’s no fairy-tale comebacks in life. You fail to make the next round. The soundtrack invariably changes to that of Cinderella Man. You watch in disbelief as the big, mean wave washes away your beautifully crenelated sand castle. C’est La Vie4, my foot.
How do you deal with rejection? How do you deal with the fact that your appraisal of yourself is a farce? How do you tell yourself, that ‘It’s not about how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and still keep moving forward,’ albeit in that weird and almost unintelligible accent?
You stuff yourself with the Domino’s Pepperoni Cheese Burst pizza. Pork helps. Especially when it is with cheese.
The doubts have returned, though.